4 ways to identify your core self

An impactful leader builds genuine connections with people. The challenge is that not every leader has a natural talent in building these meaningful connections. The great news is that you can get really good at it with intention. The trick lies in the ability to first really connect with yourself. Sounds cheesy, we know, but it’s undeniably true.

While it seems simple, connecting with oneself requires a great deal of reflection and self-awareness.  It is about looking inward and consistently paying attention to your own internal cues.  

Those internal cues aren’t loud and alarming, though. You need to be able to identify your core self so you can build strong relationships and achieve your vision. Keep reading for four tips on identifying your core self!

#1: Know your strengths

One of the biggest mistakes we make is overlooking our strengths and the strengths of others. Our strengths are our key differentiators – the things that make us great and give us energy. The things that make us unforgettable.  The things that make us FEEL awesome!  

If you are trying to figure out what your strengths are, you can start out by asking yourself the following questions:

Once you are able to easily connect with your own strengths you are able to more easily reflect on the strengths of others.  This, our friend, is where the magic lies.  When you are able to recognize, celebrate, and honor the true strengths of others, you are able to make them feel GREAT!  They connect with their own positive energy source, make contributions that make them feel proud, and feel recognized for the amazing person they are. Who WOULDN’T connect with you positively if you made them feel great about themselves?

#2: Clarify your purpose

Purpose drives performance, and performance drives results. Figure out what fuels your soul and the impact you intend to have.  Make sure you are designing your life, your work, and your relationships to align with your purpose. Communicate to others about what your intentions are so they can see how they fit in and work together with them to get there.  Keep your purpose front and center always so it acts as your North Star. It will provide clarity on direction, ease decision making, guide strategy, and ultimately navigate your relationships.

It is also important to seek to understand the purpose of others.  Since purpose drives behavior, it will help you to understand what is driving them, which can then be useful as you try to connect and work effectively together.  If they are not clear on their purpose, this is a great opportunity for you to help them get clarity and use the discussion as an opportunity to build a strong relationship!

#3: Explore your values

Knowing your values is an extension of understanding your needs. Think of your values like bumper lanes in a bowling alley.  They are helpful in guiding others in how to work well with you.  When you are sure about what you stand for (and against), you are able to truly understand what you need out of life and relationships. When you are able to reflect on what your values are, you can more easily help others understand how to work with you effectively.  Our values don’t always match the values of others, and this is okay.  When you keep your values front and center and speak to them frequently, others have clarity on how to connect with you in ways that work for you.  You also then have a natural lens for seeking clarity on others’ values and how you can work with them in effective and meaningful ways to mutually strengthen the relationship.

#4: Define your style

In the words of Ralph Lauren:

“Personal style is about having a sense of yourself and what you believe in everyday.”

Knowing your style isn’t just about knowing your taste in music, clothes or books. It is about knowing yourself well enough to know what you like, want and need out of life. Style is a reflection of who you are, and knowing who you are allows for self-awareness and confidence.  When you engage with others and are self-aware and confident, you allow them to know who you are and they naturally understand how to connect with you, read you, and work with you to achieve results.

We work with leaders like you every day and would love to help you strengthen your connection with yourself and others so you have what you need to live your best life from this point forward.  If you want to set a direction for yourself that ensures you achieve the impact you are meant to have, feel free to contact us regarding our leadership coaching programs. 

**P.S. be on the lookout for the next article about How You Show Up – Actions that Build Relationships for more tips and tricks on nurturing the relationships that matter in your life.

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